A Brief Review of Everything

Student sets out to review everything in existence. Fails miserably.

Restaurant: Caesar’s, York

Up to this point I’ve avoided doing a serious review on here. I don’t know, maybe I have an allergy to facts or something. But I’m tired and I’ve got precious little time to think of something weird and convoluted so here, for the first time, is an honest-to-god review of something.

As cities go, York is rather pleasant. If you haven’t been, I recommend you go at least once in your life. Especially if you’re a big fan of cobbles. Or a Viking. What I cannot recommend however is Caesar’s restaurant. With an evening two-for-one offer (that sadly was not promoted with the line ‘eat two, Brute’) and a name that suggested that at least one member of staff would be eaten by a lion, it seemed like a perfectly fine restaurant that would be well within a student’s price range.

I suppose I should start with a few positives. The view from the table was nice, with the majestic York minster looming over us from across the street, and the place was clean. I’ve eaten in more expensive restaurants that have threatened to rip off a layer of skin every time you touched the table, so this was appreciated.

However, as for good points that was about it. The service was poor – there were families who arrived after us who had finished their meals and had moved onto coffees by the time our food even showed up. When it finally did arrive, both plates came with an unexpected garnish – mine with an errant eyelash and Gemma’s with a splinter of wood so large I can only assume the chef thought her meal was a vampire and had thoughtfully tried to stake it through the heart. What’s more, when we complained about this to the waiter, he just mumbled something about ‘telling the chef’ and promptly vanished into the ether.

Unsurprisingly, the chef’s additions to our meals (Penne alla Italiana, if you must know) did little to improve them. As pasta goes it was fine, although nothing remarkable. Given enough time and enough hairs and branches, I could have made it, which generally says a lot about a dish’s quality. If we hadn’t come on a day when the meals had been two for the price of one, I would have felt like I’d been ripped off.

If you’re looking for Italian food in York, try Ask. Or even Pizza Express. As Caesars go, this is one I wouldn’t mind seeing stabbed in the back.

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This entry was posted on 20/08/2013 by in Food, review and tagged , , , .
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